Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize