That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize