my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
