Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
