yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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