just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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