i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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