got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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