It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
