How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
not ubering you a puppy
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
