Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
