i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize