The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
it glows. i had to have it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
