My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
