I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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