think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
A bitchslap is in order.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
