If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
