he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize