i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
