her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
