Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
