Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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