Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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