I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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