I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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