Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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