EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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