Its about making memories worth repressing
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
