How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
