Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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