i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
