Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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