some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
