I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize