well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
