I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm too high and old for this...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
