Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm sobbing to NWA
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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