Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
