so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize