Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
