and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
