Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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