Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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