I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
