and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
