Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
