Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
