just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
