yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Two words: nipple clamps
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