You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
