How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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