Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
do herpes really smell.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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