He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
