he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just had sex on a roof
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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