Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
