If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
