Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize