She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
