why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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