All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize