i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
