youre lurking in front of me
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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