Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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