I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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