Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Randomize
