There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
