It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
